#let’s just say i’m nervous
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wundurrae · 5 months ago
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what do we think abt the drivers starting around oscar…
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luna-loveboop · 1 month ago
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Maybe I should do. Linktober? A bit? I would post egg carvings on some days
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Egg carvings! :D it's an area of art I do a lot and would want to grow in... it's wierd tho ':D I hollow eggshells and engrave on them or carve them into shapes... I did this one quick today for examples
If yall want me to do it a bit I will... and that top photo would count for day one- mirror. The reflection setting in the sksw final boss is so cool to me and also I love drawing lightning, tho this isn't my favourite egg I've ever done. Anyways. I could do some days? What do y'all think?
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Edit: well I guess I'm doing it then! Happy October yall, this should be fun :D
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ph7soy · 3 months ago
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mega angsty grahamscott college AU fic❗❗
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College was supposed to be a fresh start for Warren. A chance to rebrand his geeky high school self. Hell, maybe he’d even have a shot at being cool this time around. But of course nothing ever goes his way, because he’s Warren fucking Graham.
~ wc: 71k-ish ~ status: ongoing (chapter 11/?) ~ tags: enemies to friends to lovers, slow burn, hurt/comfort, fluff/angst, coming-of-age
helloooooo to all five grahamscott shippers out there!! my super supportive gf (who is also my only beta reader) suggested that i promote my fic on tumblr so here i am;;
enjoy the vandalized driver’s licenses i made for warren & nathan + a lil what’s in my bag college student edition for these two dorks (clearly not hard to guess which belongs to who lol)
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lttl3babybug · 9 months ago
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Valentine’s Day colouring date results as promised :3
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godblooded · 9 months ago
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i have a lot of thoughts TM and it’s mostly @lunawish who is at fault but like, man, fuck you if you think it’s wrong for people to obsess over the ‘happy aspects’ of a story. like yeah, woobifying is real and the worst but…. Not everyone wants to be depressed 24/7? nor can everyone handle being constantly immersed in that kind of depression?
like it’s straight up unhealthy to obsess over a constantly negative concept. shocking, i know, but your thoughts and interests reflect onto you and you take them on as your own opinions through filtering them. so they’re always close enough to affect you. like man, if you can bathe in the abyss of dark media forever have a great time and put out some poignant shit, but don’t begrudge us who just want to find some happiness in fabricated places when the real world is so full of strife and our own struggles.
like i can’t believe this is shit i need to say but: you’re affected by what you surround yourself with and for some of us the things we’re surrounded with are awful, so the things we choose to surround ourselves with aren’t.
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acourtofquestions · 5 months ago
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I’m worried over Aelin (who I must be very worried about since I had to correct it from Celaena to Aelin twice when making this😂) she’s so heavy and tired and secret keeping and lost and it’s a quiet sort of grief and that’s scarier when it comes to her I just need Rowan back to help her so everything can be okay again and the quarter way in to chaos can’t completely go off the edge cause wow this is a trip
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seilon · 1 year ago
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got another job interview tomorrow. pray 4 me
#it was originally for a busser or server job at a cocktail bar in a luxury hotel but the manager on the phone seemed like she wanted to#interview me for the position of host so. yeah#I’m a little intimidated by that role because I am not the most social person on earth to say the least but. I may be able to get used to it#and I will admit. I am kind of motivated by the pay and tips from being a host. cause holy hell it’s 18 bucks an hour plus tips#and that’s plus tips at a 4 star hotel. where the menu is pretty pricy and the people coming there Well Off.#I didn’t really consider that before but hhhhhhh……………that sure is enticing#hoo boy but anyway. a little nervous about this interview cause I’ve never done a host or server job before#but my conversation with the manager over the phone seemed to go pretty well i think so hey#kibumblabs#oh yeah I also cut my hair short last minute and i can’t tell if that was a horrible idea or not yet#it’s not nearly as finished as I’d want it to be but. here we are I guess#I havent legit cut my own hair (let alone this Much of it) in like. a couple years now I think#I think it looks fine but I’m just hoping I don’t regret it#I know it’ll grow out again eventually but idk#I did this kinda impulsively because of the job interview tomorrow. like I was kinda worried for such a nice place they’d be a little#picky with their appearance preferences and like. I didn’t want it to look like my hair was overgrown and unstyled like it was + most of#the bleached parts are cut off now so it looks a little more sophisticated I guess#but also I’ve been getting a little dysphoric lately because I haven’t been passing despite being almost 2 years on t and I think my hair#being longish wasn’t helping#now you can see my jawline and the haircut is more traditionally masculine and etc so. praying I am not called ma’am or anything at the#store or whatever anymore.
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please ignore that anon, I enjoy your arjuna hype posts and I enjoy how much you love him. if anyone finds that annoying they can just leave. you're my favorite fgo blogger <3
I do appreciate it, but I think I’m just tired of this persistent feeling of massive shame of ever indulging in something I love. Irl I’m terrified of ever showing people the things that I love because of how humiliating I find it, and because of how scared I am it will become annoying to me, so the fact that I’ve been seeing people saying that they find fans of a character I’ve been very loud about loving annoying and that they’ve personally wronged them is kind of heartbreaking to me. I don’t want to put people out, and I don’t want to be a nuisance. I might be overreacting, but it’s a legitimate fear that’s chased me my entire life, and it’s part of the reason I’ve begged people to tell me if I ever cross a line on one of their posts.
But people don’t. You do something that annoys them and they don’t tell you, they just let the irritation simmer and fester and grow until one day they snap at you and tell you that they’ve never cared about it and you should’ve known better, even though you’ve been as honest as you could about how you struggle to understand the thoughts of others. I don’t know what to do! I try as much as I can to be respectful when asked, but I can only do what I understand is right, and if you don’t tell me and the only way I find out is from some tag about how you find fans of a certain character have personally wronged you, how can I improve? What is the expectation for me to do there?
I know it’s probably not that deep for a lot of people. They saw something they found a little annoying from someone that could very well have nothing to do with me and are nursing a tiny grudge over it that expresses in silly ways, and they don’t consider it that serious. It just hurts my heart to think that I could’ve done something to FIX it but I’ve never been given the chance.
I don’t care about the results of the poll. What I care about is the fact that I’ve seen ppl saying they seriously dislike fans of a character I’ve been very prolific about being a fan of, and I have no way of knowing if they’re talking about me or not. I don’t want to be hated by people I’ve never interacted with for something I could’ve changed!
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toomuchdickfort · 11 months ago
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Vent abt smth that gets on my Nerves
#tried bringing up to mom like. hey how could I bring up coming out to family. and she was like visibly uncomfortable so I was like dw I’m no#gonna like try to ruin Christmas with it or some shit I’m just. nervous u see. and I’m sat there anxiety rambling abt it because oh my god.#and she pulls out the fucking. ‘can’t you just be a person?’ mom I am a person already. the problem is. the PROBLEM IS. EVERYONE THINKS I AM#AND THUS TREATS ME AS A GIRL. like oh my god.#vent#it’s not a huge vent like if it comes up I’m not gonna Lie moms discomfort abt the matter be damned.#but like. ‘can’t you just be a person’ is what she says every fucking time it comes up. like mom. mother. mi madre. do you realize how much#of an insult that feels like when you say it EVERY TIME I bring up trans anxieties. or dysphoria. or any of the ways my transness affects my#life. like being trans doesn’t make me less of a person oh my god. but also frankly I don’t have the patience to be nice about getting into#things and I don’t have the heart to hurt her about it and even if I did have one of those I don’t have the patience to hold her hand#through all this shit. like I gave up having mom on this journey ages ago do you know how painful it is to un-give up on something that#immense. it’s hard and it hurts and it burns and it’s like. giving up to begin with didn’t hurt too bad- it’s cutting off the festering#wound. but. but then. you find out that. you can in fact work with that. and suddenly you have to try and clean the wound. care for it and#wrap it and do it all over again. and god it hurts. and. I’m not entirely sure I want to un-give up all the way on this? it’s. a lot#like I get and I appreciate that she’s trying to do. something. in theory at least. she avoids the subject when I bring it up and all but#cringed when I brought up coming out to her side of the family. she calls me my deadname and her daughter more than she did before she said#she would try. and I don’t have the energy to uncover that wound enough to start cleaning it. I’m just letting it sit there because frankly#it’ll be such a huge thing because it’s Always a huge thing when I don’t let the subject drop mega fast and I’m. I know she’s not gonna cut#me off for just being trans but GOD I want to keep ONE of my parents in my fucking life when I’m able to stand on my own two feet holy shit#and. man. it appears this is. still more of a thing than I thought it was. thats. annoying and inconvenient
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ghostbeam · 1 year ago
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Hi guys<3
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cerealmonster15 · 1 year ago
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I’m watching a vid on how people run twitch streams bc A. I am curious about The Magic and B. I love deluding myself
#i think it could THEORETICALLY be fun. on a VERY SMALL SCALE. maybe.#SMALL AND CASUAL like nothing fancy even. NO magic just goin in like#play game and talk#NO FACE NO CLOUT NOTHING ELSE!!!!#i do like to talk a lot when I play games lol even when I’m alone I have an overflow of THINGS TO SAY AND FEEL#idk it could be fun to try but knowing me I’d try ONCE and then NEVER AGAIN#bc the fact is I still have social anxiety LOL I#think I’d get embarrassed and nervous and remember that#i am in fact kind of annoying in real-time and out loud lol ALAS#i tried like once to do a let’s play thing in high school of just the sims#but I didn’t go far and deleted it bc it was embarrassing#but having no records maybe … live in the moment then gone…#i do have my twst sims I haven’t played in a while that I could fuck around with l o l#or my many harvest moon emulations I have saved and never use#something simple and easy#except. i am still me. and I am still scared. so probs not LOL#probably a private discord server screenshare is more my speed the way I’m thinking about it#but that also feels like a different type of pressure. also I don’t have a discord server lol#i am in some tho. i could go into one with old grad school friends lol they do screen share games#but I’m too shy to do that there#sometimes talking to strangers on the internet is the less scary thing to do#anyway. i probably won’t do any of this but I can pretend 😌#tbh I have nothing 2 be afraid of bc if I did try id probs just be a solo person in there anyway lmao no one fear of no one’s watchin🥳
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fingertipsmp3 · 1 year ago
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Girl help I just realised this coding course me and my friend signed up for has a PRESENTATION COMPONENT?? As in we have to PRESENT something to a group of who knows how many people?! ONLINE????? What, and I cannot stress this enough, the fuck
#if it were just me i wouldn’t be that bothered. like i literally used to teach. public speaking is nbd for me#even if it’s to faceless people on a screen like idc… what are they going to do. shoot me bc my code is wrong and i say ‘um’ too much? lmao#they have to find me to shoot me#also i’m humble enough to know that my presentation won’t stand out from the rest as being particularly good or bad#yet egotistical enough to know that i won’t fuck it up completely because i’m too generally good at presenting#my friend though. presenting with my friend is actually going to be terrible because she is going to fully shit her pants#and I’M going to be the one who has to tell her a million times ‘you’re not going to fuck up and anyway it doesn’t matter if you do’#and she WON’T LISTEN#like don’t ask for consolation if you’re not going to be consoled goddamn#and i get it! i’ve had that anxiety. i STILL have anxiety. i’ve spent most of the day beating myself up over a badly worded email i shot off#without thinking & received a sarcastic reply to#but for god’s sake CALM DOWN. you’re facing s class of your peers who are too nervous about their own presentations to listen to what you’re#saying; not a fucking firing squad. and if in doubt you can just let me talk the whole time#or i’ll just write out word for word what you need to say and put it in front of you#teamwork is optional for the project but i already know she’s going to make me team up with her and it’s going to be bad#i hope presenting is optional as well lol bc i can’t DO this with her. i do not have sufficient patience#when i was a teacher i was basically mother theresa but now that i’m a barista i don’t want to hear whining#it is a big problem#personal
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killuaisaprincess · 2 years ago
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Cinderella
THEY ARE CUTE!
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Zushi has a crush.
On his best friend's brother, someone who was also his friend when they were younger…
It’s confusing. Learning Nen was much easier somehow…
He couldn’t ask master; it was much too embarrassing… and besides, he'd probably bring up some statistic that would make all of Zushi’s self-confidence plummet. He couldn’t ask master’s master; she was scary… Alluka is his best friend! Which makes it all the worse! But she had just teased him and told him probably way more info than Killua himself would ever want anyone to know… so now he feels a little guilty.
But that sad look in those deep blue eyes of his… it’s like an ocean of sadness, and Zushi wants to see a smile against those pretty features like when they were younger…
But he’s no good. He doesn’t know what to say or do… he’s definitely not Alluka, who was the only person who could bring her brother out of a melancholy state, and he’s not Gon…
Zushi doesn’t even know what happened… A-and he has no right to pry!
But he can’t think of what to do, so he’s sulking at the punch table, fiddling around with a glass in his hands.
Killua hadn’t danced with a single person tonight… s-so maybe!
Oh, come on… who’s he kidding… it took him years to conquer Heaven’s Arena; something like this seems…
Zushi sighs out loud vehemently, placing the drink down and playing with his champagne-colored bowtie, bright against the pure white of his suit.
He doesn’t know how to dance…
He’ll just stay glued here, in this spot, until the party is over, he decides; until he sees Killua slowly move away from the edge of the balcony, clearly intending to leave.
H-he’s got this!
༶•┈┈⛧┈♛ ♛┈⛧┈┈•༶
HE DOESN’T HAVE THIS!
He’s sweating buckets to the point he thinks his shoes must be flooding.
“O-OSU!”
He tugs at the edge of his tux, swallowing thickly.
It’s not hard to sweat just in the presence of Killua. He’s like from another dimension. The way the light pink dress he wears flows down, like a cascade of waves, highlighting his petite frame, his slender shoulders, the sleeves draping past them. His lips are the same complimentary pink, blushing his skin in spots as well.
Killua stops fiddling with his silver locks, his somber expression twisting for a second, something akin to joy, as he looks back.
“Osu. It’s been a while… you’ve gotten strong, huh?”
There’s a small catlike grin on his face for a moment.
S-strong? Oh, right!
Zushi steps forward, standing next to Killua, rigid as a board.
“Osu! B-but I’m still nothing compared to you two!”
Wrong move.
Killua’s expression crumbles so fast, Zushi wishes he could stuff the words back in his mouth. Killua physically recoils and draws closer to himself, wrapping his arms around his stomach.
“I can’t speak for Gon… but you’re definitely stronger than me now… you train with Alluka, right? She’s gotten strong too. She can take care of herself… so I don’t really train anymore. I don’t like fighting…”
It had always been a necessity, not fun. There was only a short time it was fun for Killua…
Tears fall hot on his cheeks before he can stop them, and he wipes them away, smiling bitterly. He wants to stop them. But they don’t…
Killua dips to the floor, trying to hide, sniffing.
Oh no.
Zushi wants to disappear. His heart aches, and he looks around desperately.
Alluka!
He can’t help Killua… he wants to. But what can he do…?
Confidence! Master’s master said it is the most important thing!
He leans over slowly, gently placing a hand on Killua’s shoulder.
“Killua?”
Killua looks up, tears still pooling in his eyes, and Zushi fumbles in his pocket, pulling something out and holding it outward for Killua.
Except it’s not a handkerchief. It’s his patchwork coin purse, and nervously he draws it back, fumbling to tug out the small piece of fabric and handing it to Killua.
“U-Um! Killua-san! S-someone as pretty as you shouldn’t cry!”
Zushi hears a small gasp out of Killua’s lips, and the red around his nose turns an even deeper hue, and Zushi isn’t sure whose face is more red, feeling his own on fire, still awkwardly holding the handkerchief out, and you can hear a pin drop.
Killua gently takes the handkerchief from Zushi’s hand, his small and slender fingers brushing against Zushi’s own, and his heart swells again, and Zushi swallows, trying to keep his heart from leaving. Killua’s pretty… and cute…
Killua says he doesn’t fight anymore, but Zushi knows Killua is still strong, but he can’t help but feel the urge rise in his chest to protect him.
“U-uh! I know you don’t fight anymore, b-but! If you want to, I mean! I’d really like if you came and watched a match of mine, osu!”
“Eh?”
Killua says it so softly he almost doesn’t hear it, and his head feels like it’s swirling as he looks up; Killua gently wipes under his nose using the handkerchief before placing it in his lap. His face is still cutely red, and he looks to the side, brushing a strand of hair behind his ear.
“W-well Alluka has a match… that-that day, b-but! I guess I could see how strong you’ve gotten…”
Killua looks over, smiling softly, adding.
“Osu!”
#;windy’s stuff#hxh#killua#hunter x hunter#killua zoldyck#Zushi hxh#Zukini#ZERO FUCKS TO GIVE THE TAGS WILL ENJOY MY RARE PAIR CRACKSHIP#In actuality I expect either nothing or hate but 😤 THEY ARE CUTE I DO WHAT I WANT AS QUINA WOULD SAY#GK always number one in my heartbut I’ve had this rare pair for two years now#JUST LET THE CURIOSITY DRAW YOU INNN COME ON JOIN THE DARK SIDE I HAVE COOKIES#Actually it’s wholesome 🥺#ZUKINI OSU! 😤🥺#Zushi x Ki ZuKini CUTE RIGHT CAME UP WITH IT MYSELF! Another fun thing about ships that don’t exist!#KI IS A PRINCESS 🥺🤧😤😤😤 Ki in dresses 🤲👌👌👌🎀#C-CUTE#Ki is 22 and Zushi is 21 in this! I’m assuming Zush is the same age as Alluka!#I actually really find their dynamic cute 🥺🙏🤧#🥺🤲 Ki is t-tiny and fluffy and cute 🥺🙏🤲🤧 KI IS ALWAYS TINY AND PRINCESS 🥺#My Ki is always 5’3/5’4 in aged up aus and Gon is 6’6 AND IM LOVE THAT BIG GON AND TINY KI!#BUT KI IS TINY AND PRINCESS even when he’s about the same height as Zushi 🥺🙏#THERYE REALLY CUTE GIVE THEM A CHANCE 🥺🤲#ITS SUCH A DIF DYNAMIC THAN IM USED TO BUT I LOVE ZUKINI (and I love that ship name I came up with 🥺)#Zushi is a shy nervous bug and Ki is a cute shy BABEY 🥺🥺🥺🥺🤲🤲🤲😭😭😭 ZUSHI WOULD TREAT KI LIKE THE PRINCESS HE IS OK#Ki is so cute 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🤧🤧🤧 MY HEART CANNOT GO ON THEY ARE REALLY CUTE OKAY! OMG MY HEART AHHHHHHHH#KI TUCKING HIS HAIR BEHIND HIS EAR SHYLY IS SMTH I LIVE FORRRRRRR 😤 HES SO CUTE#ACTUALLY LOVED THIS IM GONNA CRY ITS SO CUTE#ZUSHI IS JUST EVERYONE WHO DOESNT LOVE KI AND WANT HIM TO BE PROTECTED AND LOVED AND THINK HES CUTE! KI IS BABEY 🥺🥺🥺🥺🤲🤲🤲😭😭😭😭🤧🤧🤧🤧#BEST THING ABOUT NOT EXISTING! Slight fear everyone would leave until I realize there really aren’t that many people to leave and even if#I do end up alone! I will not stop writing and making edits 😤
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demi-queen · 1 year ago
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What? I— what?
Okay, so technically I think I probably already knew this, but this reminded me of something that happened when I was in 1st grade.
So when I was in 1st grade I went to a Montessori school (if you don’t know what that is, don’t worry it’s not important to the story), and had this teacher that I Strongly Disliked for several reasons.
Now, as a reminder, 1st graders are typically 6 or 7. I have fall birthday, so I had a weird situation where I was actually about 5 or 6, depending on the time of year. I actually got held back and repeated 1st grade for several reasons, one of them being the age thing, another being that my older brother was also being held back and my parents didn’t think it was a good idea for us to be in the same grade (also, something I learned later, but apparently my parents didn’t think I was socially mature enough, and thought this would help for some reason). Anywhomst, my story takes place my first round of doing 1st grade, as I had a different teacher for my second round of 1st grade, so I was about 5 or 6.
Now, this happened several times, but I would often get reprimanded for “rolling my eyes.” Now, I’m smol and have always been smol (I’m currently 5’2” on a good day and have long since passed the period of my life where I had any hope of getting any taller. All my siblings will one day be taller than me, and I’m the 2nd oldest of 6 kids), so in order to look at a teacher, who was much taller than me, and was also not crouching down to reach my eye-level (likely due to age— as a 5/6 yr old I thought this teacher was about grandma-age, even if she wasn’t grandma-tempered), I would obviously have to look up. Now, I’m not great with eye contact as is, so this isn’t actually what usually got perceived as “rolling my eyes” but you’d think she’d at least try and factor in the height issue when reprimanding me. As it stands, I am someone who tends to look up when trying to solve or think over something in my head. This is what often got perceived as rolling my eyes. And this confused me greatly, because I didn’t even roll them! I just looked up! And, of course, since I wasn’t rolling my eyes, I thought it important to try and explain that I hadn’t, because I didn’t want any Authority Figure to think I was disrespecting them. Often, before I could even finish explaining, I would then get reprimanded for “talking back”. This, as you can probably imagine, was very frustrating. No matter what I did or said I would get in trouble (I don’t think I ever got any actual disciplinary action taken against me, but being reprimanded is still getting in trouble). And I still tend to look up when I’m thinking something over in my head, but I’ve since learned that if someone wants to interpret a facial expression in a specific way, even if you had no intention of conveying whatever they think they’re reading off of your face, it’s easier to just go along with it. Nothing you do or say is going to convince them that they read you wrong, or they’ll just get embarrassed for reading your expression wrong and then everything is awkward for everyone and you’ll wish you hadn’t said something anyways. The only time I can ever get away with explaining that someone read my expression wrong is when I get to explain to people that I have a “resting sad face.”
At least now I know why people think I’m rolling my eyes even though I’m just thinking.
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#what#since when#I’m not diagnosed with autism#or anything other than anxiety and depression#but I’m going to tag it anyways because it’s relevant to the original post#autism#autistic#anywhomst#this teacher also didn’t like that I was a nervous laugher#she thought I was just laughing during Serious Conversations because I wasn’t taking them seriously#she would do the whole ‘do you think this is funny?!’ thing and everything#also once she yelled at me for saying ‘it’s okay’ in response to an apology to forced another kid to give me#idk if she actually yelled but 5/6 yr old me certainly perceived it that way#technically I know why you shouldn’t say ‘it’s okay’ in response to an apology but I was 5/6 and she definitely could have handled it better#also maybe she should have wondered a bit about why the quiet kid was apparently randomly disrespectful#maybe then she’d realize that my laughing was my response to nervousness#and that I wasn’t rolling my eyes or talking back#I had undiagnosed anxiety#I didn’t want anyone to think I was being disrespectful to them#also the ‘don’t talk back’ thing is such bs#like#that’s an abuse of authority#just because you have power over someone doesn’t mean that you’re right all the time#maybe if you let people explain themselves every once in a while you’d be able to understand what’s happening#all you’re teaching them is that no matter what they do they’re wrong#and that they have no voice#well#that’s all#thanks for letting me rant#idk if anyone will ever read this
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tender-rosiey · 3 months ago
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from me to you — gojo satoru x f!reader
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a/n: this takes place in chapter 268, soo sort of spoilers ahead? also long live gojo satoru; gojo leaves you a letter 🙏
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“y/n-sensei, there is a letter for you as well!”
that catches your attention, and you look up at the first years. you tilt your head slightly, and yuuji hands you an envelope.
you gently take it from him, and the first thing you notice is “wifey” written on it then the doodle of satoru with his blindfold on. you feel your throat tighten, and your hands shake slightly.
you let out a small breath then shakily open the letter.
hey, honey!!
it first reads.
I feel like there is still much I didn’t tell you in our last meeting, so here I, your beautiful and handsome husband, am writing them down.
you swallow lightly, and a small smile appears on your face as you imagine satoru saying that, then you continue to the next line.
first, I changed all your computer passwords to variations of “satoruisthebest” at one point. your confusion was so cute!!
you quirk an eyebrow at the admission, but when you rack your brain, you remember that one day when you couldn’t log into your computer.
what you vividly remember was satoru being sat beside you the whole time, and now that you think about it. he was smiling so widely the entire time, letting out small chuckles every now and then. oh, that sneaky man.
“satoru, I am telling you it’s broken!”
“sweetheart, we spent over 2000$ on that. if it broke, then we could easily sue the company,” he chuckled, arm wrapping around your shoulder and pulling you closer.
“2 year guaranteed top performance my ass!”
you smile at the memory. it was pretty satoru of him to do that. your eyes then move to continue reading.
second, there are times when I would tell megumi that you would be coming with me, then he would turn and leave me when he found out I was tricking him.
your eyes glance up at said boy who is sat across of you. he made it out alive, despite everything. he suffered so much, but he made it.
it makes you relieved, and you can imagine satoru being bloody proud of him and saying something along the lines of ‘you handed sukuna’s ass to him, very cool!’
no matter how much megumi had frowned and grimaced at satoru’s presence or antics. it rooted itself as something—safe and familiar.
you can’t count on your hands the times when you and satoru would visit the siblings, and nobody really said it, but these meetings did all of you a favor, a chance to kind of wind down. maybe act like death might actually not be looming tomorrow.
it feels like just yesterday when megumi would cling to you when he got really sad or nervous, after so much time spent getting comfortable with each other.
he grew up well, you think, eyes gliding to next.
third, I hid your uniform every two to three weeks, so you have to stay with me.
at that, your eyes widen a bit. satoru’s schedule was pretty packed, but he somehow managed to squeeze time for quality time between you two.
it tugged on your heartstrings, and you made sure he knew how much you appreciated it, not a single space on his face left without a kiss. however, finding out that he went out of his way to make you rest and stay.
satoru’s care really showed in his actions, and you feel like this is the biggest proof of it.
“satoru, have you seen my uniform?”
“nope! maybe, it is a sign to stay home today? you’ve been working so hard, wifey!”
you cupped his face, pulled him down to your height, and kisses his cheek, “you’ve been working harder, ‘toru. let me take off some of the load at least.”
“we could both stay!”
“you’re kidding, right?”
“I already told yaga; I miss you!”
you try to stop the reminiscing further and try to compose yourself before reading the rest.
fourth, I’m the one who kept adjusting the thermostat. I just wanted an excuse to cuddle.
a fond yet melancholy smile appears on your face. you kinda figured that one out. satoru’s favorite pastime was cuddling, so it’s no surprise that he would go out of his way to create the need for it even further.
add to that, once you went to get some green tea and saw him from the corner of your eye teleport to the thermostat, click something, then teleport back to bed.
you figured that the room being chilly that night was not an exception in the middle of july.
“babeeee, it’s so cold! let’s cuddle!”
“maybe the problem is with the thermostat?”
“I checked! I think cuddling is the best solution.”
you giggle as you recall the moment, one of many similar. your heart feels a bit lighter as you go through the letter. something satoru managed to always do even in person.
he would plaster sticky notes, get you trinkets, and even pull pranks on other just to see you smile. feeling more encouraged, you keep on reading the letter.
then you feel your chest constrict so tightly that you might just throw up.
fifth, I am really gonna fucking miss you.
you read the line over again, and you purse your lip in hopes of silencing any noise that may come out as you feel the lump in your throat return, even worse than before. your breathing starts getting more difficult.
your grip on the letter tightens, and you find yourself thinking back to the good times. memories of late nights spent in each other’s arms, thinking about everything and nothing at once.
hushed whispers of confessions and quiet giggles as you reminisced on your highschool days. tight hugs when recalling the sad moments and the departure of a certain someone.
“you know, y/n, I think we might just be made for each other,” he said one night. you hummed and looked him in the eyes.
“three am thoughts?”
“three am admissions,” he grins slightly, “I am made for you, and you’re made for me.”
you remember him pulling you closer and kissing your forehead, while you teased, “and what would you need little old me for, so much that I got made?”
he feigns thinking then closes his eyes, burying his face in your shoulder, “grounding me.”
I love you. I really do, but you should know that already, right?
your eyes drift down to the corner of the paper, and that is when you feel your tears start free-falling. there is drawn a chibi satoru besides a chibi you and between them is a heart.
the chibi satoru is giving yours a big smooch, while she laughs. you never thought that the day your jealousy burns would be because of drawings, and drawings of you and your own husband, nonetheless.
“but wow, gojo-sensei is shit at writing letters,” you hear nobara remark.
megumi responds with a small chuckle, “I am fine with mine.”
“what about you, y/n-sensei?—”
the trio becomes silent as you let out a sob. a watery smile makes its way up your face as you kiss the letter gently and murmur, “so shitty.”
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bigautomaton · 9 months ago
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folks get scared feeling the full weight of my autistic gaze
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